rockwell's blessing day

rockwell was given a name and a blessing in our ward on sunday, august 3, 2014. it was such a perfect day. he slept well the night before so we all got a good night sleep and i made all the food the day before so that i wouldn't be stressed out. i also made sure i pumped a bottle so that i wouldn't have to leave the meeting if he got hungry and set out my clothes the night before so that i could get ready quickly.

i fed him just before we left for church so he ended up being super calm and happy during the blessing and then fell asleep in my arms as soon as tyler was done with the blessing. tyler did a great job giving him a beautiful blessing. it was a very happy experience for our little family.

we were blessed to have a lot of family come and support us, it was so wonderful. afterwards we had dinner with our immediate family. rockwell was held and happy all day. he was SO good. we were all so happy about it. i've been dreaming about the day we would bless our first baby for so long and i can hardly believe that it has already come and gone.

rockwell is such a good boy and we are so happy to have him in our family. he makes us smile everyday and keeps us on our toes and we love it!

here is a note i wrote in my phone the morning of his blessing...

Rockwell, 

Today is your blessing day. Its 6:04 am and you're eating. I'm just thinking about you. What pictures were going to take, how you'll be during your blessing and how much i love you. I'm thinking about how you'll wear the same blanket i did when i was blessed 27 years ago. Thinking about how grandpa Larry is in the hospital so he won't be able to come. Thinking about how i had a dream that he and grandma surprised us and came to the church. Thinking about how time flies and how i want to vividly remember you at this very moment as you hum while you eat and hold onto me with your clammy little hands. Thinking about how i want to remember how your belly hangs over your diaper like a muffin top because you have a big thick wide torso like your dad and papa rex. Thinking about how you smile as your falling asleep or how you rolled over at the age of 6 weeks. I'm thinking about how many people love you, love us and would do anything for us. I'm thinking about your dad, who loves you so perfectly and has wanted you since i can remember. Tears run down my face. Today he will will use the priesthood & give you a name and a blessing and some special men will stand around you. I know that Heavenly Father and the Savior love you and that the spirit will be there. Rockwell i love you. I love your perfect little face, your cheeks, your little button nose and your spunky smile! Oh and i even love it when you snore! You are my sweet son and i prayed for you for so long. Thank you for coming to our family and into my arms. You are an answer to my prayers and i am so happy to be your mama!

30 weeks and maternity portraits

wow, 30 weeks (on March 27th) ... the countdown to 40 weeks begins. i cannot believe just how fast this pregnancy is flying by! soon our son will be here with us and we couldn't be more thrilled about it! my heart is so full when i think about what a blessing this whole experience has been. i am kind of sad that it's almost over. i have loved being pregnant, although it comes with a price, i have loved it. despite the heartburn, the swollen feet and hands, the peeing every hour or two at night, stretch marks or the discomfort when trying to bend over, roll over or get into a car, this really is a magical experience. seriously. i wouldn't trade all the annoying stuff for feeling my boy move around inside my belly. or to have tyler's hand on my belly as our boy shows dad his awesome dance moves. or to have people greet me in such a kind and loving way, like they know that there is something special going on inside of me. i am a sacred vessel, a partner with god in creating a miracle. that is real. that is worth it all.

lately i have been trying to get things in order for baby boys arrival. organizing, cleaning and getting his room set up. it's been really fun and i am so excited to have him here with us. to complete our family. to bring another fun personality into our little pair. we have been just us for 6 1/2 years now so it seems weird that there will be another person in our family, but it also feels right. i am so excited for our adventures as a family!

i've also been wondering what kind of personality this kid is going to have. i took a prenatal yoga class and the teacher recommended we make a list of all the qualities we want our baby to have, like this connection that i have with him right now will make it so that he will somehow absorb my hopes for him. i think it's a beautiful sentiment, so i thought i would jot down a few things. i hope he is funny! i hope he is kind, loving and tender, but that he also knows how to stick up for himself and stand for truth. i hope he is strong physically so that he can keep up with his jock of a dad and take care of others. i hope he is sweet like his father, and that he lights up when he smiles just like tyler does. i hope he has passion for good things and that he enjoys being social and being outside. i hope he has my eye color and my hair/hair line, but tyler's eye shape. of course i hope he is cute, and has really kissable cheeks! honestly, if he looks just like his dad i will have no qualms about it. and i suppose right now, most of all, i hope he is a good eater & sleeper, just like his mama.

so i leave you with these thoughts and these wonderful photos our friend megan guererro took for us. i will cherish these photos for as long as i live. this whole pregnant thing isn't a walk in the park, but i sure do love it. but i think that's just like everything else in life that's worth doing. it's hard, but it's SO worth it.

happiness and gratitude in 2014

 2014 is a new year with new challenges and new excitement. i never really got around to setting new years resolutions this year, i feel like i always kind of lose the momentum with those. but, i am continually trying to improve and become a better me. mostly, i just want to be happy and help those around me to be happy. you know, leave the place better than the way you found it. i'm working on it.

quite often, i find myself in review of my life. it's like as of late, i have had this inclination to look back on the history of my marriage and think about all the ups and downs. and usually, i just end up feeling really grateful for all the amazing memories we have made together and the even more amazing people we have gotten to know. you know that feeling where you just feel an immense burst of gratitude in your heart for everything Heavenly Father has blessed you with? i have been feeling that more frequently these days. maybe it's because i know that soon, everything will be different and it wont just be tyler and i anymore. but maybe, it's because of this little miracle swirling around in my torso that i am able to realize all this.

now, this is not to say that life is perfect. we still have our bad days, but i feel closer to my husband than ever before. i feel his love for me in most everything he does and i hope he feels the same about me... even though i take up a lot more room on the bed with my side sleeping and pillow snuggling.

i just feel really happy and extremely grateful for the life i am living. for the people who love us. for the support and love we feel from Heaven as well as those here on earth. i just feel the blessings and i know it is because of my Heavenly Father. i know he sends certain people into our lives to lift us up. i know there are certain talks or conversations i was meant to hear. i know that hard work brings reward and it doesn't always happen right away. i know that while trudging through the muck it is SO hard to see the goodness, the light, the happiness. but i also know that the struggles we face are for our good, that we become stronger, happier, better people because of them. and when the struggle is over, and we stand on top of the mountain we just had to climb and look at the amazing view on the other side, we can be overcome with happiness and gratitude for the blessings that lie ahead.

that's kind of how i feel. there were things i needed to experience to prepare me for the view i am looking at now. would i trade the struggle i've experienced for the beauty and splendor i am looking at right now?

never. ever. EVER.

every time tyler gets a good grade on an exam. every time i feel my baby kick me. when i spend time with loved ones. when i smell the beautiful clean air after the rain. when i feel the Spirit testifying to me. when i imagine the day that we will meet our son. i wouldn't trade anything to rewind time and not face the struggles i did this past year. i learned so much. i would never want to take that away. i was blind, but now i see.

so, if you are setting out on what seems like a long road of mud and muck, just remember that the view from the other side is miraculous and so completely worth it. even though it doesn't seem so now, it is. i promise it is worth it.

so here's to a year filled with happiness and gratitude, for me and for others.

p.s. tyler felt the baby kick last week for the first time. it was pure magic...
tell me that's not worth it?

22 week bump

15 weeks

15 weeks. it seems like such a small number. i feel like i have been pregnant for so long. then i remember i still have 6 months to go. some of the weird pregnancy symptoms have subsided. some new ones have popped up. my nausea is just about gone. such a blessing!!!

i'm now proudly wearing maternity pants.
thank you. thank you. thank you.
i have no idea how people go all the way without them. they were worth. every. penny.

my hands and feet are now beginning to bloat. goodie. whenever i wear form fitting shirts tyler loves it. he rubs my belly every chance he gets. it's really precious. i kind of love it.

all in all we feel very very blessed. tyler is doing well in school. he started substituting and loves it. he is also coaching high school and club volleyball. it's all wonderful. he is having fun and learning a lot. i have been really busy with my photography and we've got lots of fun family stuff coming up.

i am feeling extremely grateful for the wonderful blessings we have had poured out upon us. we have also been thinking about how many amazing people we have in our lives. you mean so much to us. so many people love this baby they've never met. we are so lucky.

14 week bump