Friday, October 19, 2012

things i love: feeling full

last night i went here. last night while mr. rex played basketball i could have sat around and watched television for 2 hours. i could have cleaned my house. i could have filed paperwork that really needs to be filed. i could have browsed pinterest for hours. but i chose differently. 

i chose to go to the temple. to the house of the Lord. 

for those of you not familiar with the mormon faith, the temple is where we go to make sacred covenants and to be married or sealed together as families for time and all eternity. this is the building where i was married to my sweetheart. this is the place where i knelt across an alter in a beautiful room surrounded by our dearest family and friends. this is the place where my forever with tyler started. where i go for peace. where i feel like i belong. where i never feel less than or overlooked. where i never feel scared or worried. where i don't look at my phone. where i sit. where i ponder. where i pray. 

where i feel the love of my Father and his Son. 

where last night, i couldn't hold back the tears. i felt an overwhelming love and a peace flow over my body. that He knows me. that He loves me. that everything i have and will be faced with is for my good, because i am strong enough to handle it. 

it's no secret that life is a tough journey. it's not surprising to me that i have faced challenges over the last year. it's upsetting, but not surprising. what does make me wonder is how anyone could survive without the presence of God in their lives. the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the means by which i survive. it is the reason my heart is so full, even when life seems to be such a mess.

for those of you who do not believe or who have chosen to distance yourselves from God - i don't mean to be offensive, but i do mean to be frank. religion seems to be a topic people avoid these days. like it's bad or unpopular or closed minded to believe in something. but when chaos is everywhere around you, how can you not believe? i'm telling you from my heart, my very full and bruised and happy heart, that 
God loves you and Jesus Christ died that you and i might live. 

because of that, we can live forever! we can be happy amidst the trials in our lives that will surely come to each of us!
there is no association, no accomplishment, no job, no certificate of achievement that can bring greater joy and sense of comfort in life than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. i know it because i have lived it. i know it because i have, at times, distanced myself from His presence. i have tried to figure things out on my own. but that just doesn't work. i need Him. i need His light guiding my path. my sometimes windy, rocky, slippery path. 

if you feel lost. if you feel scared. if you feel worried. He can help. He can bring peace. 
how grateful i am that i know that to be true. how grateful i am for His Holy Temples and that i can go there if i but remain worthy to be in His presence. how grateful i am for the quiet wisperings of the spirit that prompted me to go to that wonderfully peaceful and sacred place last night. even now, thinking of my experience there inside those sacred walls, i feel so happy and i feel so full. my words cannot accurately describe the magnitude of my joy.

life is hard for all of us, i hope i can remember the love i felt last night and try a little harder to feel it more often by being where i know i need to be. so that no matter where i am i can have his guidance in my life.

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Angelynn Singley said...

Thank you for sharing Amy, that was beautiful and something that I really needed to hear.

Jeff and Kira said...

This pretty much described my feelings exactly, Amy. Thanks so much for sharing such a beautiful testimony :)

Ashley and Blake said...

I attended a funeral today of my dear friend's little one and a half year old boy who drowned last week. I have been feeling this same way all day and as I did her hair this morning I told her many of the things you have just said. That he knows us and he knows our pain that we always have someone who understands. I've had a very sad, but uplifting and testimony building day today. And I'm glad you are feeling those same things cuz life is easier when u have this knowledge of these truths!