Tuesday, September 18, 2012

sometimes it's not what i want, but what i need


i saw this quote on a friends blog years ago. i have a feeling i may have shared it here before. but i feel like every so often life changes in ways i didn't see coming, and this quote makes it's way into my thoughts again. 

things have been different around the rex home lately. change has occurred, there will be change coming, but we don't know when. the future is sure, yet unsure.

i have always been one to plan. tyler sometimes says i need to be more easy going. i'm working on it. at least i know that i need to be more flexible. that's a plus, right?

up until now my life was pretty much planned out for me. it was all laid out for me from the day i was born. learn, grow, get to preschool. go to grades k-6, head over to middle school, experience that not so blessed american rite of passage that we call high school, graduate high school (on my 18th birthday in fact), go to college (i felt completely unprepared), pick a major, decide on sociology, meet the love of your life, get married, transfer to a university, pick a minor, decide on health science, graduate (with honors).

so a few years back, before i finished school, as a naive teenager i would have thought, well after college you're husband will find a job that will pay well, you'll quit your job and have babies, buy a house with a white picket fence & live happily, simply and easily. not. that. easy. 

in case you weren't aware, the economic situation is pretty cruddy right now. finding a good paying job with good benefits? nearly impossible. finding a good paying job that will allow your family to live on one income? nearly impossible. especially with the cost of living in southern california. i could complain. i could be upset that i sit in my office day after day hoping that someone sees the goodness in tyler that i see. waiting for the right opportunity to come along. the right job. in the right place. the right pay. the right benefits. 

even though this next part of life isn't all planned out, i am excited. this is not what i expected. i find it so very strange that i am not worried sick about what is going to happen, when will tyler find the job, where will we live, how much money do we need, when when when can we start a family?

even though i don't have everything all figured out. no plans. no idea what's going to happen. i still know that something is going to happen. tyler will find the right job. we will have a family. we will be able to live happily together. and through all this we are growing stronger in our faith in Heavenly Father and our faith in each other.

sometimes you just need a little (or a lot) of change to shake your world and make you realize that you do have the faith necessary to overcome things. maybe it's not exactly what i wanted, but i know it's what we needed. the future is bright.


Ashley and Blake said...

You are just the sweetest. Being a grown up is tough. We battle with the same things over here. California is tough especially since its so expensive. I'm just like you, I like to plan and know what we are doing but Blake's job isn't like that. It's hard to know when, if ever, we will make enough money to have the life we want here. Just know that you aren't alone. But you do have such great attitudes about it. And you are so young! (unlike me!) don't judge your life by those around you, just focus on what is best for you guys. Things will work out like they should! I love that quote you posted too!

Laura said...