Friday, September 30, 2011


Like most women I think babies are cute & I oooh and ahhh at them when they are especially adorable. I mean as long as they aren't barfing on me or having a blow out diaper situation they tend to cause my uterus to ache a bit. Sometimes I think, "No way Amy, that will be waaaaaaay too crazy... just wait a bit longer, until you think you're really ready to give up your entire life." and then I snuggle with a sweet baby and I think, "Hey, you could do this. Maybe you could do it and be great at it. Just maybe."

I think about becoming a mother a lot. I think it's mostly because there are SO many things that go into the decision of becoming a parent and I am the type of person that wants to know as much as possible about what I'm getting myself into. Not that I expect to be able to predict all possible situations, but I do want to be as prepared as possible. And mostly, I feel that at some point I should be mentally ready for the idea of dedicating my entire life, body & home to my child.

For now I'm really enjoying the fact that Tyler and I can pretty much do whatever we want whenever we want, a luxury I'm sure I'll miss when children enter the picture. And although the aching in my uterus is usually caused by spending time with my pregnant friends & family or their children, I also really like being able to spend time with said friends and family without having to worry about a baby. Then that last thought makes me feel like a bad person... like having a baby is torture or something?

Yes, I know I really know nothing about being a parent, but watching people I know go through parenthood helps me get a glimpse of the way life could be. It seems to me that the good simply continues to weigh out the bad. Plus, I really don't think many things are better than snuggling with my sweet niece and she alone has made my uterus ache more than any other child has. I love her SO much I can't even imagine how much I will love my own little pumpkin someday.

The way her hand is holding my arm just melts my heart. Seriously. I love her.

*picture of me and my niece Brylee at our cousin Justin's mission farewell lunch


Laura said...

Very cute picture! Everyone is different. Life before kids has its perks, but like you said, the good definitely outweighs the bad. You won't ever feel ready, you'll probably just know it's time. One thing I didn't expect is how much I need them to learn and grow and become a better person.

Wendy said...

The only thing I miss about life without children is the freedom. That said, the pure JOY I feel from holding a child that holds me back even harder is indescribable. If you think you know love now, the love you feel when you have a baby with the man who means most to you in this life is UNREAL. Being a mom is the hardest thing EVER EVER EVER. And the most rewarding. Everything you've heard about it is true. Nothing makes me cry more furiously than just simply thinking about my babies, and how they call me "mama". They calm when they see me or hear me. Nothing makes them more comfortable than a snuggle from me. Hearing Mckenzi say "soooooo mitch" (i love you so much) is heart melting. You'll love being a mom. Biggest sacrifice. Biggest blessing. You'll know when it's time. It seems like it will be time for you soon, what with how much it's on your mind. It happened like that for me, anyway!

Whit said...

Precious!! I love it!!

Shelley said...

I remember feeling that ache when I wanted one so badly but we had so many reasons to wait. When we finally got to have our own, I couldn't believe the joy it brought us both. It's the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I've done. I'm sure your day will come soon and your feelings will then feel like a distant memory. Pray about whether the time is right for you to have one with Tyler. Sometimes He has a plan for us that we don't realize until we are open to it!