Wednesday, February 17, 2010

4.4 Miles & Insanity

So I just wanted to give you an update on my big goal for the year: to run a half marathon. I am a third of the way there!!! I am up to 4.4 miles in my running. I have been doing it consistently for about a month now so I am thinking about increasing my mileage a little bit in the next couple weeks. And I also need to sign up for a 10k. Does anyone know of a fun course that wouldn't be super difficult? Running isn't easy for me, but I love it. I think I like it so much because I can do it now, even though it isn't easy. When I was in Junior High School I was overweight and NOT cute. I had no sense of style and I was awkward. Looking back at those 2 years makes me a little bit sad because I felt like my weight and my lack of physical activity really held me back, but I never did anything to change it. There was a "Coyote Run" that we had to complete (I think every week) and I could never do it without walking. I am pretty sure it was only 3/4 of a mile, but I couldn't do it (or that is what I thought, I wasn't into pushing myself to new limits). I remember the best grade I ever got for a Coyote Run was when my soccer player friend Nikki coached me the whole way and encouraged me to jog. I think someday soon I will have to go back there and run that coyote run and prove it to the fat awkward 8th grader inside me. I think I need to finally let go of that image that I have of myself because I am a different person now. I think I still feel like that girl because I am not the person that I want to be yet and my body isn't quite what I want it to be yet. I am getting there and I will never stop trying, but it is hard to change habits that I have had my whole life and it is hard to undo the damage that has been done due to my bad habits. But the whole point of being fit and healthy is so that I can move on and live a long healthy life instead of one that is filled with awkwardness and insecurity. When I talk to Tyler about this he is always very encouraging and tells me what a good job I am doing. He doesn't understand what it is like to be the fat girl in class, but he encourages me when I get too hard on myself. I keep repeating this quote by Albert Einstein in my head: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". It is time to start changing what I do if I want to get the results I want. I need to be more disciplined if I REALLY want to be the woman that I want to be. I will not subject myself to insanity any longer. I can't do it anymore.

1 comment:

J + A said...

That is so great Amy. I need to be more like you and more determined to do better. Jared and I go running sometimes and I always think back on that Coyote Run and how horrible I felt after walking it since I am not the best runner. When you decide to tackle the Coyote Run again, I will do it with you. I am interested to see how well I would do.