Lately I have had this recurring thought about what I am doing with my life. Like a "what are you doing that is so great?" kind of a thing. It is not the best feeling in the world to think that I am not doing something important with my life. But I also know that it is normal to be critical of oneself so I am trying to use this as a modivator as opposed to letting it ruin me. I have set some goals for this year and of course, like always, there has been a slight "hitch in my giddy up" for the last couple weeks. I have been sick on and off and then right when I start to feel better my monthly bill arrives and totally debilitates me (sorry to be graphic, but sometimes cramps/back aches REALLY mess me up!). So needless to say I haven't been as modivated as I could be because of my lack of normal health/sleep/energy. But I have been trying to stick to it and have a good attitude. Tyler helps me a lot because he always believes in me, even when I don't. So today while bored at work I decided to read an ensign article and heaven knew it was what I needed. I love it when that happens. It totally re-affirms my faith in the Lord that he knows me. Below is an exerpt from the article. I love it when Elder Holland puts me in my place..it is always my favorite part of his talk.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, The Best is yet to Be, Ensign January 2010
"Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?
To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come” (Hebrews 9:11).
Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep."
So here are a few of my "dreams" for the year. I am posting them here in hopes that it will keep me accountable and really try harder.
-train for a half marathon
-run a half marathon
-graduate college with honors
-lose 20 more lbs
-build my photography portfolio (let me know if you need a photo sesh!)
I am really determined to accomplish these things and I don't think it is asking too much of myself. I figure that if I keep thinking about how un-great my accomplishments are then I better start working on doing some great things. So here's to a year of greatness!