Breathe In

It is 1 AM and I am wandering the house wearing Tyler's thermal. Tyler is on an overnight camp out with his cousin and I am here in the apartment wondering if I am going to be able to go to bed. I was really excited for tonight. I have known about it for a while now and I was totally pumped to have the apartment to myself. I was going to relax. Eat food that Tyler doesn't care for. Watch movies that Tyler doesn't like. Sleep in the middle of the bed. I ended up doing a few of those things and also cleaning and doing the laundry. It has actually been a really productive night... I even got in some errands and a work out. I feel good. Except I can't remember if there has ever been a night when I have had to sleep without Tyler. I thought I would like the independence, but it turns out that I have become accustomed to snuggling before bed and goodnight kisses. Funny how things change without your knowledge. While I was standing in the closet I took a deep breath of the thermal that I am wearing. Then a thought struck me. It smells like him. What would happen if the only thing I had left of Tyler was the memories, photos and the smell of his thermal. What happens when that comforting and familiar scent fades? I am really lucky. I think sometimes gratitude hits you at the most peculiar times. Maybe its the silence, the apartment, the hour, or the thermal that is bringing out these thoughts, but just think for a second. What if what you hold dear was torn away from you? It happens all the time to really good people. Really wonderful people suffer loss all the time. What would you do? How would you get from one day to the next? I don't think there is any correct answer, but I know that I am blessed because of a man named Tyler. I need to hold on to each day like my life depended on it. Mostly I just hope that when I lose someone I love I will be able to hold tight to my memories and remember every laugh, hug, kiss, smile, conversation, glance, touch and every single moment. Because eventually the scent will fade and you can no longer breathe them in simply by standing in their clothing wondering what to do next. So hold on tight.

Ducks Game and Skating

Tonight was an extra special Ducks game. Not only did we play really well and win... We also got the opportunity to stay after the game and ice skate. Tyler was the only one who really wanted to skate so my dad and I just walked out onto the ice to get some pictures. If you notice in the picture of my dad is the CenSource logo on the scoreboard. Pretty special to know that my dads hard work all these years has resulted in him being able to be a sponsor for the Ducks. I am glad that his dad taught him the importance of hard work and introduced him to the signage industry. I am very grateful for both my dad and my grandfather for working so hard. It is their hard work that has provided me with so many special life experiences.

wishing::hoping::praying::

Tonight Tyler and I did something I look forward to all year. We got Starbucks Hot Chocolate in their seasonal Christmas cups. They are especially interesting this year. I am really impressed by the very thoughtful message on each cup. It was fun just sipping my yummy peppermint hot cocoa in a comfy chair talking to the love of my life. We talked about the night we had our first kiss. I love remembering the butterflies and excitement. What a great start to the holiday season.

Pretty Please

The Welcome mat that I bought when Tyler and I first got married was stolen not too long after we moved in. I was totally sad because I thought my welcome mat was so pretty AND who on earth would steal a welcome mat? I mean come ON people! How sad is that? So I haven't replaced it because I am scared of getting attached again just to see it get stolen again. But the other day I saw a Welcome Mat that was just so cute... I couldn't pass it up. So I am pleading... Pretty Please don't steal my door mat!

Welcome Fall... with some pumpkin pie!

So last Thanksgiving my lovely co-worker Pat gave me some pumpkin puree that she made from her home-grown pumpkin. This year she didn't grow any pumpkins so I had to do it on my own. I figured that I would do a trial pie before thanksgiving so that I had the time to work out any kinks. I also thought it would be cool to take pictures of the process. So here they come. Hope you enjoy!

First you have to buy a pumpkin (I bought mine from Trader Joes) and cut it in half.


Next you have to get all the seeds out along with the stringy insides.


This is what it looks like when it is ready to go into the oven.


I had to cut the pumpkin into quarters to fit them into my pans...



Add 1 Cup of water to each pan and bake for 90 minutes at 350


Once the pumpkin was baking I made the dough. It was a really good sweet recipe that I found online. I totally reccomend it. My parents said it tasted like gingersnaps.


Then I let the dough cool in the fridge...


This is what the pumpkin looks like when it is done baking


Then you have to take the pumpkin out of the pan and scrape out the soft insides. I used tongs to transport them onto my cutting board and I had the blender close to avoid spills. I used a big fork to hold the pumpkin while I scraped it. It comes off really easy.


So I set my blender on puree and it did it perfectly! It kind of looked like baby food. The one pumpkin made two blenders full of the puree. Now I will have enough to freeze for Thanksgiving!


So then I took the 1.5 cups of puree and heated it with .5 cups of brown sugar for about 20 minutes. Once it was thickened I took it off of the heat and added in the milks and spices.


So then once I wisked the filling and rolled out my dough I poured the filling into my pan. Then I got to use my cute cookie cutters from Williams Sonoma. They are super cute!


I decided to put the leaves around the entire pie. Next time I may just have to cover the entire top... It would look so pretty!


I had to be super careful.. a few little leaves fell into the filling and drowned.


Ready to go into the oven for about an hour...


It turned out so pretty! I am so proud.


I brought the pie over to my parents house (Bonus: The car smelled awesome on the way to Anaheim Hills!)and everyone loved it! This was my piece. I enjoyed every bite! It was so tastey! It was a really yummy dinner too. We had tri-tip, roasted potatoes and veggies. My mom had the house all decorated for fall and it looked beautiful. The table was all decked out and she even lit candles! It was a beautiful dinner and a success because everyone enjoyed it all!

I can't wait for thanksgiving! I always get together with my sisters and my mom to bake pies the night before thanksgiving. It will be super fun this year now that I know how to bake well and I have found some cool new recipes and tricks!