So this semester was by far my most rigorous semester thus far. Taking 5 upper division classes and working is not as easy as I thought, but I learned a lot about my abilities over the last few months. I have really had to manage my time wisely so that I could get in all of my readings, tests, quizzes, projects and papers. I think my favorite class this semester was my writing class. The professor really taught us how to bring ourselves into our writing and really write with a purpose. I was able to really think about emotion, inspiration and social issues that I was concerned with. I wanted to share with you my final project for the semester. We were allowed to choose our method: a speech, letter, essay or poem. It was inspired, by my sister in law Jessica and her Husband Mike, to write this letter. I hope you like it.
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To the dear young ladies with a choice to make,
I’m sure that you have a lot on your mind right now. Being a teenager and being pregnant is something that many people do not understand. I bet there are judging eyes all round you waiting for you to do something, waiting for you to choose what the rest of your life will be like. You are lucky to have a choice. I know that you don’t know me and although we have never met I might know a little bit about your story. Some of you probably thought that you were in love. You thought that he was the kind of boy who would stick with you through the hard times, but then when things got tough he was no where to be found. Or maybe some of you were not looking for anything serious when you decided to sleep with someone, but what resulted was anything but casual.
Having a baby is serious. It is something that moms and aunts do, not something that you do, at least not right now. Being a mom is something that you were probably not planning on doing until you graduated high school and went to college. Maybe you never wanted to be a mother. Maybe you want to travel the world and study the cultures of the past. Maybe you want to be an airline pilot or an astronaut. I am writing this letter to tell you that all of those dreams can still come true, just maybe not as soon as you may have hoped. Being young in society today can be tough. The media tells us girls that we need to look, act, dress and talk a certain way. I know that life is hard sometimes, but don’t ever be afraid to be you. Sometimes being confident is difficult when we make mistakes or when we don’t fit the mold, but we need to love ourselves. I am guilty of sometimes falling into the trap that the media sets. It isn’t always easy to overcome hardships, but it can be done and we need to be there for each other.
Even though you are in this situation that seems so dark and confusing I would like to make a suggestion of how you can change the lives of others because of your seemingly bad choice. You may be wondering how something so terrible can become something happy. How could this get any better? How could I help anyone else when I am in this mess? I would like to tell you a story about a girl, a girl named Jane. She grew up with a dream that is not very different from yours. She didn’t want to be an astronaut, a traveler or an actress. What she wanted was easy to figure out, it was something she knew she always wanted. She wanted to be a mother.
When she was in college she married a nice man named Andrew. They were in love and they wanted to have a family. They always wanted to be parents. Andrew always knew he wanted to be a dad. He and Jane were so excited to have children and to finally be able to expand their couple into a few more. So they tried and tried to have a baby. Years passed and tests were done and there was no progress. It was official; Jane and Andrew could not have children on their own. For some reason their bodies could not produce something that they both wanted more than anything in the whole world. They were discouraged, but they didn’t let this obstacle defeat them. There were times when Jane saw other parents with their children and wondered what she had done wrong. Would she ever be a mother? She wanted so much to have a child to love and teach. She wanted to hear someone say, “I love you mommy”, but she often wondered if her ears would ever hear those words.
Jane and Andrew eventually decided that they would try to adopt. Although the process was long and often heart breaking as young mothers changed their minds, they continued to seek a young girl like you, who wanted to give them a baby. After many tears, sleepless nights and wondering, the day eventually came that Jane and Andrew became parents. There was a girl who much like you, had become pregnant before she was ready to be a mother. She wanted Jane and Andrew to adopt her son. When Jane and Andrew finally held that sweet baby boy in their arms they knew that he was their son. Jane and Andrew had true gratitude in their hearts because of the trust that young mother had in them. She knew that they could give him a life that she wasn’t ready to give. Jane and Andrew knew that although they had not chosen the path that they traveled on, they were able to arrive at a destination that they always wanted.
Just a few years later Jane and Andrew had a desire to adopt once again. The process was slow, but eventually they were able to be foster parents to two brothers that came from a home with a history of drugs, abuse and unwise choices. They took care of them, loved them and changed their lives with the hope that one day the boys would be official members of their family. It was not until two years later that Jane and Andrew were able to legally adopt the brothers. I was there that day and the love of their family seemed to visibly grow. You could just tell that they were meant to be a family. You could tell that these two brothers were meant to have a better life than what their biological mother had. Their biological mother came from a family of high school dropouts, teen pregnancy and drug abuse. With Jane and Andrew as their parents these boys have a better chance of graduating high school, going off to college and living a life free from drugs. You see, I am the aunt to these three boys and I am forever grateful, as I know my other family members are, for the opportunity that I have to know and love these boys. They are wonderful and luckily Jane and Andrew were trusted enough to take the boys into their home and care for them. Not only have they cared for them but also, they have loved them and provided so many opportunities for them.
I know it might be scary to think of someone else taking care of your baby. What if they hurt them or don’t give them a good healthy life? I want you to know that you don’t have to be scared because you can choose the couple that you want for your child. But it is up to you to make that choice. Will you make the selfless choice and give your baby better chances of succeeding? Will you bring hope and love to the lives of a mother or a father without a baby? There are mothers and fathers out there that are waiting for a baby and for some reason they can’t make it happen for themselves. That is where you come in. You can change someone’s life! You can give the gift that no one else can give. You can give the gift of life, the gift of a child. I hope this letter got you to think about an option that is often forgotten amidst the anxiety and confusion that comes along with teen pregnancy. There are hundreds of men and women out there who are waiting to be parents and you can help them. Please tell others you know about the gift of adoption. Please consider adoption as an opportunity to change not only your life, but also someone else’s.
Sincerely,
Amy Rex
