my life in instagram: motherhood

"These words have been weighing heavily on my mind lately. With all the demands of life, I often feel like I am coming up short, as if I can never accomplish everything I want to. Making dinner, buying groceries, my church calling, showering, friends, family, cleaning, laundry, poopy diapers, more laundry, 4 am feedings, exercising, time with Tyler, time with Rockwell and time for myself... Something always falls by the wayside. I am realizing that I HAVE to set a new standard for myself. I cannot compare myself to other women who seem to have it all together while they and their children are looking fabulous and rested. So here I am, with no make up on (probably smelling like spit up) while my son nestles into my cheek with his drooly hands around my neck. This is my new life. This is my "glamorous". And I remind myself every single day that there is nothing more important than my sweet baby boy. There is no other chore or vacation or fancy outfit that will be more rewarding and joyful or more important in the eyes of God. I might not have time to do anything but tend to my boy all.day.long. And that's more than okay, it's what God gave me time for. #rockwellbradyrex"

i posted these thoughts along with this photo yesterday on instagram. i wanted to post this here, on my blog, so that i could remember it. my hope is to someday print this blog into books so that i can have a record of our lives. i especially want to remember days like these. i hope that in some small way i can help other mothers out there who are struggling as well. although i post a lot of positive things here, i want people to know that this life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but that doesn't mean it isn't amazing. it truly is a blessing to be a mother and care for my son. but life is hard sometimes and i don't want to lie about it or hide it. 

i think sometimes we walk a fine line between being positive, but also being real without complaining about things too much. at least that's how i feel...

i want people to know that being a mother is wonderful, but it's not easy. there are things about motherhood that i didn't expect. like i didn't expect to have a child that HATES his car seat. or i didn't expect to be so affected by the lack of sleep. i didn't expect to have a child that wants to be entertained constantly. obviously some days i cannot just hold him and play with him all day long, but i need to make that more of a priority when he needs me. instead of being irritated that i couldn't cross more off of my to do list, i need to remember that no matter what i didn't get done, i kept my son alive, fed and as happy as i could. 

on the other hand,  i couldn't have anticipated the feeling of overwhelming heart bursting joy i would feel when rockwell smiled at me, looked into my eyes and then proceeded to hold my cheeks in his chubby baby hands for the first time. yah, that happened today after i changed his diaper and tears of happiness filled my eyes. it is tender moments like that that remind me that this is a divine calling and i need to remember that when things get hard. what if i wasn't paying attention to rockwell after that diaper change? if i hadn't looked down at him and smiled i never would have had that experience. i could have just grabbed him, plopped him down on his play mat and continued to "get things done", but i would have missed out. i am SO glad i took the time to play with him today. i am so glad that he loves me  and that he brings me more happiness than i ever thought possible, more joy than any other way i spend my time. 

my life in instagram, starring rockwell

life with rockwell is kind of awesome. it is really hard sometimes, but really really great too. he is now 7 weeks old and smiling more and more. he doesn't really like tummy time, but he is super strong. he pulls his neck up and kicks his legs a ton. he is eating like a champ and although i haven't weighed him, the fact that he is in 3 month clothes and size 2 diapers reassures me that he is gaining the proper amount of weight. he is occasionally gassy/fussy, but for the most part he is a really good kid. we have been blessed with a few good blowouts, which is just how it goes with little babies. he usually takes a nice big afternoon nap and sleeps in 3-4 hour chunks. the last couple nights he has slept 6 hours in a row, which obviously i am thrilled about. having uninterrupted sleep for longer than 2 hours is amazing! i cannot believe how good it feels. i think i just forgot what it was like to actually get the proper rest my body needs. so thank you son, you are an angel!

basically we are in love love love with this little boy. he is the center of our universe, just as he should be. everyday we get better and better at being a family and figuring each other out. this parenthood thing really is a wild and crazy ride, but i would not trade it for anything in the world!

a few pictures from instagram as of late...

my life in instagram

so we are still alive. we have had an incredibly busy month. 

i second shot a wedding. 

the next day we left for utah, with 3 hours of sleep.

we stopped in vegas for tyler's interview. 

he got a job offer. 

he signed the deal. 

we spent new years in utah with family & friends. 

we drove home to so cal on new years day. 

we drove back to vegas a few days later to look for a place to live. 

we drove back to california. 

we got approved to rent a condo in summerlin. 

we packed up what seemed like a million boxes. 

loaded a 26' truck. 

said goodbye to our friends and family. 

drove to las vegas. 

unloaded the truck. 

now we are here. our bed is up and so is our sofa. oh and also our internet and cable. we pay attention to the necessities around here. it's nice to be here. tyler's parents and sister came to help us so it has felt like home having them here with us. it will be strange when they leave. but it will also be nice to establish a new life here and a new routine. tyler is really excited for his new job as a territory manager for ecolab and i am excited for my retirement before we become parents. no, i'm not making an announcement, that's just what is next for us. 

sorry i've been absent, but moving stinks! i'll be updating the blog with all of our adventures from the past month or so in between un packing boxes and getting organized.  

my life in instagram

 

just a few photos from instagram of life lately. 

there is a lot going on. every morning i wake up feeling anxious about the days or weeks ahead. a lot is uncertain. there is a lot of fun things though, too. it's very strange. i guess i am just having a hard time adjusting to the upcoming changes, the demands on my time and the possibility of new opportunities coming our way. but i really want to want to be more excited as opposed to nervous. 

the planner in me is sick of being disappointed. the hippie in me is getting sick of the planner always bringing us down when things don't go according to plan. i think that life as of late has been teaching me to let go and just let life take me where it wants me to go. there is no use in getting all fussy about things that i really cannot control anyhow. but i also need to take control of things that are dependent upon me. instead of waiting for things to happen, i just want to make things happen for myself. oh, this tug of war inside my head.

this month has been really fun though. lots of memories made and fun times had with friends and family. we are so blessed to have such great people in our lives. we have kind of slacked on our advent calendar, so planner amy is feeling guilty, but hippie amy is just fine. i think hippie wins this round. christmas time isn't about how many holiday activities i do. it's about spending time on things and people that matter most. so that is what i am doing. something's gotta give.

my instagram username: @amyrexphoto

my life in instagram

i hope you all have a very happy and safe thanksgiving. i have much to be grateful for. i seem to get so worried about the troubles that come my way that i lose track of what really matters. there is goodness all around me. at the end of the day, if i have nothing in terms of things, i always have tyler in my heart and by my side. he really is my rock. 

i'm working on my attitude and trying to make the choice each day to be happy. it is my choice to do something good and productive or sit in front of the television wasting time. there are so many things that i can actually control that will help me to be happier. i need to start there. 

you might not be hearing from me for a few days. we will be spending quality time together with loved ones. and come friday my transformation into a christmas elf will be complete. the apartment will be plastered with christmas decor and i will be resisting the urge to buy my christmas tree before december arrives. 

oh, tyler couldn't be more excited. ;)

my life in instagram; tips on how to survive when your husband is away

here are a few photos from my iphone of life lately. today mr. rex gets home from his trip to colorado. sleeping in our california king bed for five nights all alone was weird. can't wait to have his warm cuddly body lying next to me tonight instead of a stack of pillows. yes, i laid pillows all long his side of the bed so as to trick myself into thinking i wasn't so alone. 

all in all having him gone for so long wasn't nearly as terrible as we both suspected. 

here are some tips for how to survive when your husband is gone...

1. keep yourself busy! make lists and plans and stick to them. 

2. try to get out of the house. i tried to make plans that required me to leave the apartment, the place where we normally hang out. this helped a ton. 

3. lay pillows all along his side of the bed. this way you don't feel like you're all alone in that big bed. you can also sleep right there in the middle. i enjoy doing that sometimes, even when tyler is in the bed. 

4. when you are at home, put on your favorite pandora station or tv show. that always helps the house feel a little less empty. 

5. make sure to lock your doors! don't forget to be safe when you are alone in the house. 

hope this tips help you. they definitely helped me stay sane for the last 5 days. it wasn't easy, but staying busy, having work during the day and a phone call from tyler every once in a while really helped. 

what will i be doing tonight??? smothering that cute man of mine. caaaaan't waaaaiiiit!!!