happiness and gratitude in 2014

 2014 is a new year with new challenges and new excitement. i never really got around to setting new years resolutions this year, i feel like i always kind of lose the momentum with those. but, i am continually trying to improve and become a better me. mostly, i just want to be happy and help those around me to be happy. you know, leave the place better than the way you found it. i'm working on it.

quite often, i find myself in review of my life. it's like as of late, i have had this inclination to look back on the history of my marriage and think about all the ups and downs. and usually, i just end up feeling really grateful for all the amazing memories we have made together and the even more amazing people we have gotten to know. you know that feeling where you just feel an immense burst of gratitude in your heart for everything Heavenly Father has blessed you with? i have been feeling that more frequently these days. maybe it's because i know that soon, everything will be different and it wont just be tyler and i anymore. but maybe, it's because of this little miracle swirling around in my torso that i am able to realize all this.

now, this is not to say that life is perfect. we still have our bad days, but i feel closer to my husband than ever before. i feel his love for me in most everything he does and i hope he feels the same about me... even though i take up a lot more room on the bed with my side sleeping and pillow snuggling.

i just feel really happy and extremely grateful for the life i am living. for the people who love us. for the support and love we feel from Heaven as well as those here on earth. i just feel the blessings and i know it is because of my Heavenly Father. i know he sends certain people into our lives to lift us up. i know there are certain talks or conversations i was meant to hear. i know that hard work brings reward and it doesn't always happen right away. i know that while trudging through the muck it is SO hard to see the goodness, the light, the happiness. but i also know that the struggles we face are for our good, that we become stronger, happier, better people because of them. and when the struggle is over, and we stand on top of the mountain we just had to climb and look at the amazing view on the other side, we can be overcome with happiness and gratitude for the blessings that lie ahead.

that's kind of how i feel. there were things i needed to experience to prepare me for the view i am looking at now. would i trade the struggle i've experienced for the beauty and splendor i am looking at right now?

never. ever. EVER.

every time tyler gets a good grade on an exam. every time i feel my baby kick me. when i spend time with loved ones. when i smell the beautiful clean air after the rain. when i feel the Spirit testifying to me. when i imagine the day that we will meet our son. i wouldn't trade anything to rewind time and not face the struggles i did this past year. i learned so much. i would never want to take that away. i was blind, but now i see.

so, if you are setting out on what seems like a long road of mud and muck, just remember that the view from the other side is miraculous and so completely worth it. even though it doesn't seem so now, it is. i promise it is worth it.

so here's to a year filled with happiness and gratitude, for me and for others.

p.s. tyler felt the baby kick last week for the first time. it was pure magic...
tell me that's not worth it?

22 week bump

new years

new years in utah was really fun. we had dinner at the roof restaurant which looks over the city and the temple. temple square was still decorated with lights and as we were counting down to midnight it started to snow. it was so magical. happy new year!

a new year, a new sun rises

trusting in something that you cannot see is not always the easiest thing to do. relying on the Lord and trusting in his timing is part of life. it's important. it's completely necessary. but that doesn't mean that it comes naturally. for me, it took a lot of prayer. a lot of studying. a lot of pondering.

early saturday morning i drove into the desert with my sweetheart. as the sun rose and i gazed out the window at the clouds in the sky and the light streaming through i couldn't help but wonder what life has in store for us. so many things unsure, so many things undecided.

i am thrilled to say that i am sure about something. that we have decided to change our lives. in 2013 the sun will rise... and for us it will be rising in las vegas, nevada. tyler has accepted a job and we could not be more excited for this new adventure for our family.

although there have been times over the last year that were dark, i now appreciate more than ever the rise of the sun. now that i can see the big picture i realize why things happened when they did. trusting in God's plan for us was difficult sometimes. we saw other friends get that job or have that baby or buy that house. sometimes i wondered what we were doing wrong. sometimes i wondered if we would ever be able to have the type of life that we wanted.

but i trusted God enough to let him lead us where He wanted us to go. He knew what we needed, exactly when we needed it. i am so so so grateful for the blessings that have been bountifully bestowed upon tyler and i. my heart is so full. i have so much joy in my heart.

we will miss our friends and family in california SO much. but we are just a quick trip away and now will be in between family in utah and california. we can't wait to see what las vegas has in store for us!

now to find a place, pack and actually move it all. let the fun begin!

here we come!

i hope you all had a great christmas holiday! tomorrow morning we will be headed to utah to visit our loved ones and we couldn't be more excited!

i will make sure to update the blog as soon as i get a chance. i have been going going going for the last few weeks and i am tired! i am looking forward to some rest and relaxation... and some serious snow ball fights!

happy new year to you!!!