shaw's cove

this past weekend we had a surprise package arrive at our house. our three favorite clausen's came to visit all the way from rexburg! they are just the best and we are SO sad that they're gone. but hopefully, they'll be back real soon. it was a short stay, just three days, but their presence was so needed. little brylee is so full of spunk and energy and none of us can get enough of her. her parents are pretty awesome too, super funny and loving. i really can't put into words how much i love these people.
during their stay we went down to the tide pools in laguna. it was a beautiful day and we all had a lot of fun. it was so nice to be down by the ocean and smell the salty air. it's just the best. over the weekend we also had fun bird watching, bubble blowing, hot tubbing, milkshake drinking, snuggling, laughing, flower picking and doggie petting.

thanks so much for a great weekend clausen family! come home soon!

check out that 25 week bump! wowza! 

the morning they left, as soon as i laid eyes on that sleeping baby turned toddler, tears just started to fall out of my eyes. i guess i could blame in on the pregnancy hormones, but really, i just love this little family so much and my heart aches every time they leave to go back to school. i picked up brylee and started to carry her downstairs to the car... that was when i really lost it. sobbing. straight sobbing. all of a sudden brylee took her sleepy head off of my shoulder and looked me in the eyes and said "you sad?" in her sweet sweet voice and i responded, "yes, I'm going to miss you!". as we walked down the stairs she grabbed onto my neck and said softly "it's okay". just remembering the ordeal makes me well up. this little girl is definitely heaven sent. she is so sweet and kind and loving and her parents have taught her well. i hugged morgan and kimberly and watched them drive away. ugh. my. heart. hurts.
hopefully someday, i wont have to say goodbye for months at a time ever again. one can only hope.

valentine's day

we had such a nice valentine's day. to start off the day, tyler surprised me with a beautiful arrangement done by his lovely sister, julia and valentines donuts! next we headed to the doctor's office to have an ultrasound. we found out that the placenta moved out of the way of the cervix, so no more previa! yay! the baby is about 1.5 lbs and developing perfectly. such great news! next we went to a matinee, had a lovely dinner and relaxed. since things have been really busy, it was especially nice to spend the entire day together!!!

happiness and gratitude in 2014

 2014 is a new year with new challenges and new excitement. i never really got around to setting new years resolutions this year, i feel like i always kind of lose the momentum with those. but, i am continually trying to improve and become a better me. mostly, i just want to be happy and help those around me to be happy. you know, leave the place better than the way you found it. i'm working on it.

quite often, i find myself in review of my life. it's like as of late, i have had this inclination to look back on the history of my marriage and think about all the ups and downs. and usually, i just end up feeling really grateful for all the amazing memories we have made together and the even more amazing people we have gotten to know. you know that feeling where you just feel an immense burst of gratitude in your heart for everything Heavenly Father has blessed you with? i have been feeling that more frequently these days. maybe it's because i know that soon, everything will be different and it wont just be tyler and i anymore. but maybe, it's because of this little miracle swirling around in my torso that i am able to realize all this.

now, this is not to say that life is perfect. we still have our bad days, but i feel closer to my husband than ever before. i feel his love for me in most everything he does and i hope he feels the same about me... even though i take up a lot more room on the bed with my side sleeping and pillow snuggling.

i just feel really happy and extremely grateful for the life i am living. for the people who love us. for the support and love we feel from Heaven as well as those here on earth. i just feel the blessings and i know it is because of my Heavenly Father. i know he sends certain people into our lives to lift us up. i know there are certain talks or conversations i was meant to hear. i know that hard work brings reward and it doesn't always happen right away. i know that while trudging through the muck it is SO hard to see the goodness, the light, the happiness. but i also know that the struggles we face are for our good, that we become stronger, happier, better people because of them. and when the struggle is over, and we stand on top of the mountain we just had to climb and look at the amazing view on the other side, we can be overcome with happiness and gratitude for the blessings that lie ahead.

that's kind of how i feel. there were things i needed to experience to prepare me for the view i am looking at now. would i trade the struggle i've experienced for the beauty and splendor i am looking at right now?

never. ever. EVER.

every time tyler gets a good grade on an exam. every time i feel my baby kick me. when i spend time with loved ones. when i smell the beautiful clean air after the rain. when i feel the Spirit testifying to me. when i imagine the day that we will meet our son. i wouldn't trade anything to rewind time and not face the struggles i did this past year. i learned so much. i would never want to take that away. i was blind, but now i see.

so, if you are setting out on what seems like a long road of mud and muck, just remember that the view from the other side is miraculous and so completely worth it. even though it doesn't seem so now, it is. i promise it is worth it.

so here's to a year filled with happiness and gratitude, for me and for others.

p.s. tyler felt the baby kick last week for the first time. it was pure magic...
tell me that's not worth it?

22 week bump